Official Collection of:
The Museum of Scientific Antiquity in the
South Pole Region
from the journals of Scientist Ricard a Gonzalez (B.
1879- D. 1913 :)
Sixth Infantry, Southern Pole Trial Expedition
day of February, in the year of our Lord 1913
may find this journal -The end
is nigh! I have not taken account for some four days now as we survivors were
forced into hiding and could not
ignite candle light by which to write for fear of being discovered. We are now
barricaded in the former mess hall, our supply waning. Stable for now, but I fear, not
traced the outbreak to the experimental heat - packed peanut rations we
were given aboard the ship. Concocted for the expedition by a revolutionary
scientist- Dr. Pizootz, of Cambria they say - the extremely spicy nuts were
sent along as a means to orally their malaise our bodies in these harsh frigid
conditions. Heat they did! And ah, much more, I’m afraid!
good doctor infused his nuts with a tincture of ghost pepper and a squat
dastardly pepper native to the Carolinas to construct what I imagine to be
the devil’s own legume. He called it “the Inferno”! What’s in a name!
tasting the nut, I thought my tongue would nearly jump from my body. I was
entirely overcome with the sensation of spice and could not seem to quench my
thirst. But by golly they worked! I had nearly forgotten all of
my polar surroundings and began to take off my outer coat in an effort to cool
our departure from the colony, Mr. Pizootz warned us not to take too many
of these nuts at one time! : Medicinal purposes”, he said! The other
scientists, I’m afraid, did not heed his warning. They grew much too fond of
the heated nut, pilfering packets in the night.
Jackson began to transform into that beastly thing in the infirmary, his
teeth sharpening before my eyes, growing in height to monstrous extremes, we
searched his quarters for a source of the ailment. Strewn about his cabin, were
many empty peanut packets. And then, before Jackson reached full mutation, he
laid his now-hairy paw upon my cheek and whispered his final, haunting words, “they
were absolutely delicious.”
candle is nearly at the bottom of its wick. I must abscond. Send
help. I pray we still have time!
WARNING ( from The Museum of British Scientific
Antiquity In The South Pole Region ) : Extreme consumption of
Pizootz Inferno Peanuts whilst in tundra climates may lead to Yeti-like
symptoms including but not limited to: Large, hairy footprints, rapid height acceleration
up to seven feet or more, sharpening of incisors, higher frequency of
classification as magical or mythical creature.