From the Desk of Dr. Alfred P. Pizootz
“ATTENTION, ATTENTION: PIZOOTZ PUTS FLAVOR INSIDE THE NUT!”
Alfred P. Pizootz here, inventor of the fantastic flavor-infused nut! Perhaps my paramount past precedes me and you’ve heard of my pluralous accomplishments, perhaps not. No bother! If this be our first congregation, please pardon my perfunctory but I must have you know that Pizootz Peanuts are like no other! We have discovered a way to place the flavor INSIDE THE NUT.
Pizootz are the first of their kind, patented, flavor-infused nuts! How did we ever do it, you ask? Why, the science - invented by a former NASA ROCKET SCIENTIST - is summarily simple! We first select the finest quality Virginia-style peanuts. Virginia peanuts are known for their hardy, absorbent figures, all the better for soaking up our rich natural flavors! Next, Pizootz begins their revolutionary infusing process. With the use of just WATER, PRESSURE, and STEAM we naturally place our flavors INSIDE the nut.
Other companies deep fry their nuts and coat them in chemicals, powders, sugars, and artificial flavors to plaster on the flavor. But NOT US. Unlike The Other Guys, we are ALL NATURAL, non-GMO, preservative-FREE, gluten-free, Kosher, with ZERO Trans fats, and LOW sodium.
Our 10 delicious flavors are packaged and delivered to you in a three-layered seal that provides over 14 months (420 days!) of perfect freshness. And because all ten of our flavors - Baja Taco, Bay Spice, Blazing Buffalo, Habanero, Jalapeno, New York Dill Pickle, Sea Salt, Sea Salt & Cracked Pepper, Sea Salt & Vinegar and INFERNO - are powder-free, we guarantee “No More Messy Hands”.
Hello? Are you still there? What are you waiting for!? Go pop open a fresh pouch of Pizootz Peanuts & Almonds and properly ponder it for yourself! Forget pleasantries, there are precious snacks to be tasted!
Dr. Alfred P. Pizootz, Peanut Purveyor